Bryant Gumble Down for the Struggle

Bryant Gumble, possibly the whitest black man in Amerikkka, recently upped his blackness quotient when he compared NBA Commissioner David Stern to a “plantation overseer.” The comment obviously implies that NBA players are slaves. I am sure most of you honkies out there are appalled at the comparison, but let me assure you it is a valid one.

To understand Gumble’s comments you have to shed your cracker perceptions and honkey world view. You have to look past the pretty packaging and ribbons that are meant to keep viewers from seeing the racism inherent in the sports world. You need to look deeper than the fact that NBA players make millions of dollars, drive fancy cars, and live in big houses. You have to look past the fact that the NBA markets individual players like Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, and Chris Paul over their teams. All of these facts are smokescreens designed to distract from the ugly truth buried within the NBA: That the NBA is nothing more than a modern day plantation exploiting black men.

Once you have successfully shed your whiteness, you can begin to look at the NBA, and see how it can be compared to a plantation. One recent, widely publicized example of racism in the NBA is David Stern instituting a dress code for players. Seeing as how the NBA is overwhelmingly black, you would think Stern would tailor this dress code accordingly. Maybe make sure that all baggy pants be picked from a group of respected name brands. Or possibly make sure that players watches, chains, rings, and bracelets match. Those things would make sense, but no. Stern decided that the NBA players should dress like white people, and that is totally unacceptable.

Another recent, well publicized example of systemic racism in the NBA is the reaction of fans and Dan Gilbert to Lebron James “taking his talents to South Beach.” The venom that began to slung ofter that free agent signing resembled what would happen if the Grand Wizard of the KKK’s wife leaving him for Malcolm X. Dan Gilbert, the owner of Cleveland Cavaliers, got all pissed off and wrote an open letter calling Lebron “heartless” and “disloyal” just like he was some sort of slave owner beating a runaway slave. David Stern did fine Gilbert for the letter, and was quoted as saying so-called super teams like the Miami Heat were good for the league, but Stern is a Jew. We know you can’t take anything a Jew says at face value.

Any sane individual who has successfully shed his white mindset must conclude after seeing the evidence that the NBA is nothing more than a modern day plantation. Sure, there are no beatings, killings, chains, poverty, or forced selective breeding, but there is plenty of oppression. Sure NBA players make millions and have the leverage to play where they want, but they can’t switch teams without being called names by fans and their former owners. I think once Occupy Wall Street is done on Wall Street, they should occupy the NBA offices until these plantation conditions are ended.