Aggrieved Minorities FTW!

08 Nov

Since the good Reverend is away attending his family reunion, I guess it falls to me to write some stuff. So, while the negro is away the honkey will play. Let’s get started, shall we?

Just in case you aren’t sure, I figured I share this little nugget from ABC News with you as evidence that if you want government attention, being an aggrieved minority is the way to go. Here is an excerpt:

The White House declares there is “no evidence that any life exists outside our planet” on a new official website, where thousands of Americans had signed a petition asking the government to reveal its search for extraterrestrials.

The declaration, written by Phil Larson, who is described as a “space expert” on the staff of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, also insisted that there have been no close encounters with aliens.

Aggrieved minorities are getting lip service from the White House. In other news, water is wet, the sky is blue, and black people kill each other a lot. I know it’s not exactly ground breaking stuff, but isn’t this a bit ridiculous? I mean actual tax payer dollars are being wasted responding to a petition demanding the White House address life on other planets.

The White House has decided to make it easier for aggrieved minorities to receive lip service. See, the aforementioned petition was created using a new White House website called We the People:

The White House’s new website for extraterrestrial matters, We The People, started a little more than a month ago, and so far more than a million people have offered or signed petitions asking for a government response, and 77 petitions have been answered by a team of senior West Wingers.

You can go on that website, create a petition that falls within their Terms of Participation. I scrolled through the open petitions, and found a few funny ones in there. I didn’t count, but it seemed most of them were related to legalizing marijuana.

Well, I haven’t gotten any in a while, so I signed up to get some lip service from the Obama Administration. I know, maybe I’m stupid for signing up for a WhiteHouse.Gov account, but I don’t care. Let the Feds come. You all have my back, right? RIGHT?!

So I made my own petition. Through Veritas Aculeus by way of In Bona Fide, I was made aware of an insidious movement in this country. Apparently there are grown men that fans of My Little Pony. They call themselves bronies. This activity seems to me to be harmful to the young men involved individually, and to society at large. I have written a petition demanding the federal government conduct an investigation into any harmful effects on the bronies, and whether or not “Big Toy” is complicit in any of these harmful effects.

If you are interested in studying this seemingly detrimental new fad, go sign my petition. I understand if you are afraid of sharing your information with the White House, but if we don’t stand up and be brave, this brony thing could storm the whole nation like the refer and buttsekks!

On a side note, my favorite petition besides mine is this one.

UPDATE: Apparently, bronies brought down 4chan/Anonymous. As you can see, bronies are a clear and present danger. Another H/T to In Bona Fide


Posted by on November 8, 2011 in Uncategorized


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2 responses to “Aggrieved Minorities FTW!

  1. Simon Rierdon

    November 8, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    “Let the Feds come. You all have my back, right? RIGHT?!”

    Damn right, I haven’t laughed that hard at anything in a long time. “Big Toy” really got me. I’m registering just to sign that petition and the cookie one.

  2. Honkey McCrackerson

    November 8, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    And I thank you, brave sir, for bringing awareness to this upcoming national tragedy. If we don’t get out in front of these things there will be no sanity left.


Holla at ya boi!

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