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Cracker Game

10 Oct

Since I have been doing this whole blogging thing, I have been reading a bunch of honkey blogs. One common topic on honkey blogs that I find interesting is this study of “game”. They got all these honkies out there trying to study the “art” of getting laid. And just like a cracker will, they make this shit way more complicated than it should be.

These honkies talk about “frame,” “alpha,” negs,” and whatnot. I think they could learn a lot from a true pimp. I know pimpin’ ain’t easy, but it ain’t a fucking science either.

The first thing you gotta remember when dealing with hos is that they are hos. If you gonna try to be a pimp, you gotta be a pimp. If you walk up to a ho with some jive ass pick up line and she starts tripping, you gotta use your pimp powers to get her mind right. For example:

Me: Do you like horses?

Ho: What that got to do with anything?

Me: *PIMPSLAP* Bitch, lets go fuck!

Ho: Oh! Yes! Oh God!!!

Now, if you ain’t the violent type, there are smoother ways to get a ho in the sack. We all know that every women wants a man to come along and put a big ass rock in her hand. Most of them are thinking diamonds, but they will settle for a crack rock. Walk up, and show that ho the dope. She’ll be gargling your balls in no time.

Of course, not everybody has a strong pimphand, and some people flinch at using drugs for leverage. There is a third way. On the first of the coming month, when your welfare and SSI checks come in, bring them to the bank, cash them in one one hundred dollar bill, and the rest ones. You’ll have a large pile of cash. Roll that up with the hundred on the outside, and wrap a rubber band around it. Bitches, especially strippers, love big rolls of cash. Go to the local exposed breast establishment, take about fifty ones out of your roll, and make it rain on the main stage. The rest of the night, tip from your big ass roll, and them hos will be all over your cock by the end of the night.

I know, you just blew all your money for the month, but who cares. You were just going to blow it on forties of eightball and weed anyway.

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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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